An idea …
The Association of FormerBasilians 1987
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An IdeaWhose Time Had Come
(by Paul Glynn)
Pat Lalonde was a good Basilian and a good friend, that I hadn't
seen in a number of years. He died much too early, late in the fall,
1987. Since I was only ten minutes walk from St. Basil's, I decided to
take an early lunch and go to the funeral. Just made it, last pew on
the right hand side, aisle seat.
Out came the procession from the side door that used to be the entrance
from St. Mike's H.S. I almost developed a kink in my neck nodding at
faces from history. Finally it stopped, as the coffin was met, and Bill
Coughlin was standing beside me. Talk about pre-ordained from on high.
After a quiet exchange of pleasantries, Bill said that Bud Paré
(Superior General) had an idea that he wanted to test on me. Would I
give him a call? I said sure.
Little did I know. A week or so later, after Saundra and I had lunch
with the two of them the 'what' was clarified—a reunion. That only left
where, who, when and how, to mention the obvious. Actually, one aspect
of 'who' was not a problem, even from this early date. The four of us
agreed that reunions are great for memories and renewed friendships,
but in our case they are taking place in today's world, which means
family participation.
Saundra and I were very fortunate, in a short period of time, to come
up with a group of people who were interested, not only in the reunion
concept, but being involved in organizing it:
Denise and Norm Frenette
Stan Kutz
Sheila and Dwyer Sullivan
Julia and Alf Graham
Nancy and Bill Lewis
Saundra and Paul Glynn
and of course, Bud Paré
and Bill Coughlin.
In a letter that I sent to them, after telephone conversations,
indicating a February 19th meeting, I listed four points which seemed
to be important:
1- That the event be positive and upbeat.
2- Everyone is accepted where he is 'at' today.
3- Families be involved not only in the 'event' but
in the planning of it.
4- We include those priests who had transferred to a
diocese, and also former seminarians.
The Basilians were very cooperative. The island was available and for
the time that we requested. The dates were noon Friday August 26th, to
late afternoon Saturday August 27th. Shortly after new year '88, I
phoned a number of catholic education contacts who belonged to one or
another religious communities across the province. Had they ever been
involved in something like this? The response didn't help much. A few
had participated but the format was an old boys or old girls network.
So much for that brilliant thought.
By the time of our first meeting, between a letter by Bud to the
community, and the old stand-by, we had come up with about two thirds
of the ninety-three for whom we were looking. The old stand-by? I'm
sure that you will recognize it. "I know someone, who knew someone, who
lived in the same neighborhood as a brother or sister, etc, etc."
By the way, in case you are curious, I contacted the K of C hoping that
they would have an address of former boys camp types. From their
history files, they had one or two that had maintained contact. Most of
the others had an address on St. Joseph's Street, Toronto. A Seminary,
I believe.
After the meeting and during the latter days of February, Bud sent
another notification to the local Basilians, indicating what was to
take place and asking for help in locating former Basilians whom to
that point we had not uncovered. We also had contacted the formers
indicating what we were planning and
asking for ideas. There was some hesitancy but the majority agreed that
it "seemed" like a good idea, although they were not willing to commit
themselves to anything other than the reunion.
In April we confirmed that the concept of reunion had met with approval
and confirmed also the dates. We emphasized that the majority of time
would be given to friends. However, we thought that a more or less
formal hour could be spent on Saturday morning discussing the present
format and the possibility of future gettogethers.
The Basilians offered to have a liturgy Saturday afternoon for those
who wished to participate. They also offered to treat us as guests,
(rooms, meals, social), but the committee felt that, considering the
numbers, a donation would be in order.
Around the beginning of June, the committee asked Mike Lehman's
permission to spend Sunday at the
island. The seminarians, headed by Wencil Pavlosky, were extremely fine
hosts and Wencil, in particular, came up with answers to questions that
we didn't know enough to ask. Julia and Alf Graham, Saundra and myself,
with our two girls, were the committee members who could make the trip.
Bob Madden was there and besides saying mass for us, was extremely
helpful.
And what was the practical world the details of which we were so
inquisitive? How many beds and rooms? How many washrooms? Labels on
doors? Campfire possibility? Song sheet? People needed to assist with
parking Map of directions to island Bring sleeping bags if you have any
daughters upper porch, sons lower porch Ten volunteers to peel potatoes
for 15 minutes Clean up after each meal Things for kids to do While
these points and dozens of others were being noted, our attendance
count was 25 former
Basilian priests for sure. Somewhat disappointing. A reminder helped.
As a result, in a letter to Mike Lehman, during the first week of
August, we indicated 35 former Basilian priests ere coming, 18 regrets.
This was pretty good considering we had only been able to find 71 out
of a total of 93. The overall total
including wives was 62 and 35 children. About 33 Basilians came. All of
which made for a great party.
Actually, it wasn't quite as mathematical as it sounds. Over a period
of six months, Saundra took a fairly large number of phone calls for
which 'trauma' or 'apprehension' would be suitable descriptives:
"What's the point of this?"
"I left this all behind me."
"I probably wouldn't be welcome."
"What are they trying to do, get my husband back?"
A minimal number had one of these reactions, but a substantial number
were apprehensive, stepping into the unknown. However, they came
anyway, with their families in most cases. A paragraph in the first
Rapport referring back to the 'first' probably catches a lot of
reaction:
And what a reaction! Beyond all expectations. Was it the Island itself?
Was it the instant immersion into nostalgia? Was it the warmth of the
Basilians present? Maybe it was the kids for whom instant rapport is a
way of life. Whatever it was, trauma it wasn't. It was very beautiful,
really.
From a personal point of view, three things stand out in very clear
detail. Situated on the mainland for an afternoon, l had the great
experience of meeting and talking with almost every arrival. A great
experience but a little frustrating, the boat had to keep moving.
Secondly, when l arrived back on the island, a little after five,
Basilians, and former Basilians and others had set up the social beside
the hotel and were helping Bob Madden with the BBQ. But what caught my
attention, as the boat approached the Island
was the pile of suitcases and sleeping bags all over the grass from the
dock to the bunk house. l asked Saundra if she thought that they would
remember the room numbers that she had given them. Her reply was that
she could vouch for six or eight who had already come back and there
would probably be others after supper.
Conversation can be a distraction. And finaIly, as l was approaching
the hotel, Bud Paré come running to meet me. "It's working, we
did it," he kept repeating. You have to understand. This was an
incredible moment for Bud. He had come up with the idea during his
first term as Superior General, but had received enough of a negative
reaction that he didn't proceed. Finally, near the end of his second
term, he decided that it was a concept whose time had come and with the
help of Bill Coughlin and others he set things in motion. By the way,
neither Bud nor Bill told me this, but one or two other Basilians did.
At this first reunion we began a tradition that has lasted until the
present. Whether it was a donation, or
later, a fee, we always met the obligation and always added several
hundred dollars extra. This, of course,
didn't cover the stamps, envelopes, and secretarial work given to us
gratis by the Basilians.
A reunion committee was elected at the '88 forum. We included three
Americans on the list (Brennan, Femiano, and Rybicki) so that input
other than Southem Ontario would be available. This came by mail and by
phone. The following were the committee members. Basilians on the
committee reflected the need for Basilian input also.
Helen and Joe Thompson
Sylvia and Neil Smith
Ivy and George Vanderzanden
Frank Lally
Paul Rybicki
Ed. Brennan
Sam Femiano
Saundra and Paul Glynn
Bill Coughlin C.S.B.
Bob Madden C.S.B.
Jim Carruthers C.S.B.
Manny Chircop C.S.B.
Several good ideas emerged to help reclaim old friendships. One was a
telephone tree put together by Neil Smith. Any news from the tree came
from our members to Neil or from Jim Carruthers, our Basilian contact.
A name, address, telephone list was also established which would be
updated every fall. Included in this was what had been on the telephone
tree. And lastly, it was decided to have reunions every two years for
those that can come. Any less frequently, and you miss one, at our
age.....
During our first term as an elected body, the committee had to make
some decisions in regard to extended definitions of our association.
Allow me to explain. Shortly after the '88 reunion our committee,
meeting in the fall or spring, I forget which, received a request from
one of our members. Apparently, he had a financial conflict with the
General Council and wanted the support of our association. We indicated
that we would send a copy of his letter to the council in order to
accentuate his concern. But that was all we felt we could do. I
remember the expression "We are not a union" came up in the committee,
but I don't think that we worded it quite like that in our response to
him or in our letter to the council.
Another request lasted through four meetings over two years between the
'88 and '90 reunions. Two of our committee members were very strongly
committed to the concept of married clergy. They insisted that we
petition the Vatican ourselves or become, as an association, members of
Corpus, an organization whose purpose was to promote this change in
Church policy. The arguments, that we didn't have such a mandate and
that we could easily frighten away some of out more tentative members,
didn't hold much water. Nor did the argument that individual members
could do whatever they wanted. Over the course of four meetings we had
lots to read, papers, essays, articles, whatever. They all made it onto
the agenda because each was a "different" argument and could be
discussed. We survived and the elective process at the '90 reunion was
a great help.
It is interesting to note that over the years a number of our members
have belonged to local Basilian lay associate groups. Two have belonged
to the Basilian Social Justice Commission.
The '90 reunion took place at approximately the same dates as the first
one, but a third day was added. Being together from Friday pm. to
Sunday late am. meant for more casual conversations. It wasn't until
'92 that we moved to the long weekend at the beginning of August.
Coming out of the '90 reunion was the awareness that our organization
had a degree of permanence to it. Hence, we should cover out expenses
and not reIy on the Basilians. Our initial fees came from those at
the island in '90, payable to the reunion and sent to Frank Lally. What
really helped was the creation of our newsletter, Rapport, and the
professional look given to it by Norm Frenette, which he has still
continued to do. Now we had a formaI way of communicating to our
members and everyone had the opportunity to learn what a third of our
membership found out on the telephone tree. A personal touch, which
helped to give us meaning, was the creative request for an
autobiographical sketch, put together by Larry Elmer, and the
'translating' that Ivy and George Vanderzanden did to prepare the
submissions for
that opening newsletter.
Within a very short period of time, we could cover our expenses and not
rely on the incredible generosity of the Basilians. And, like I said
earlier, we always contributed more than requested for reunion
donations or fees. A number of years after these initial financial
steps, we reached the point where we could return the Basilian
generosity. For a number of years now we have sent a sizeable annual
donation to the Basilian Mission in Cali.
The membership on the committee changed because of travel distance,
health, and work. 'Changed' implies some having to drop off, others
coming back on, and of course, newcomers. Sheila and Dwyer Sullivan
came back as did Julia and Alf Graham, and Stan Kutz and Bob Madden and
Jim Carruthers more recently. Within a short period of time after
joining the committee, Larry Elmer took over as treasurer. Shortly
after that Cy Doherty, Jim Strickland, and Fergal Nolan added their
ability and enthusiasm. And very recently Wayne O'Reilly and Paul
Murphy came. Paul made the mistake of organizing a successful reunion
within a reunion. As a result he was unanimously elected the new
committee chair. As it was since the beginning, aIl members have a role
to play either at the reunions or during the years between them.
As in all aspects of life, there are some less than positive points to
mention. There are ten former ordained Basilians that were never found,
about fifteen or so we have lost, and the same number that have died.
The annual updated address list has the precise numbers.
If you will pardon me if I finish with a personal touch. It has been a
beautiful experience for Saundra and
myself to have the privilege of working closely with members of a
committee whose sole objective is to create an opportunity to increase
the happiness in people's lives.
Paul and Saundra Glynn